Not as shit as that really shit ad but still a little bit shit

 

Remember that really shit Andrex ad? The one that urged us to get involved in a national debate about how we wipe our arses? The one that was as unoriginal as it was inane? Well, a couple of months ago, Andrex sensibly moved on. Not content with sparking the great ‘scrunch or fold?’ debate, these brave, pioneering souls kicked off a campaign to stamp out one of society’s greatest ills. Is it racism? I hear you ask. Sexism, perhaps? Human trafficking? Poverty? No, no, no and no again. This is a subject far more pressing than those trifling social issues. Andrex are taking on the problem of – are you ready for this? – people not replacing the bog roll when it runs out. That’s right. They are, as Peter Finch memorably raged in Network, mad as hell and they’re not going to take it any more. In fact, they’re so serious about stamping out this madness that they’ve created a name for it: ‘rollaphobia’. Know your enemy, eh? And, alongside the old chesnut of the public service spoof ad, they’ve created an online hub that will help you recognise the signs of this troubling epidemic.

Unlike ‘Scrunch or Fold?’, there’s a decent idea trying to get out here. It is annoying when people don’t replace a finished toilet roll. I’m sure we’ve all looked up from the sports pages/crossword/Grazia magazine to discover there’s no loo roll and cursed the person who didn’t get a new one out. However, that insight is lost among the twee XX-ripoff track and the annoying headmistress VO with its random intonations. But my main issue is that Andrex toilet roll isn’t the cure to rollaphobia – surely that’s getting people to replace the roll? (How about a little message on the cardboard tube along the lines of, ‘If you don’t replace me, a little fluffy bunny will die’?) Semantics maybe but if you’re going to set up a campaign against a national issue, surely you should have/be the answer? And while I’m getting quibbles off my chest, I reckon rollaphobia would be much less of a problem if the fucking Andrex puppy didn’t waste all that bog roll at the end.

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About antmelder
Creative Partner at DDB Sydney; passionate vegetarian; lover of books, boxing and Bruce Springsteen.

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